Rejection & Resilience
Dealing with audition rejection: A guide for all young performers & parents.
A career in the Arts has the some of the highest highs and the lowest lows. From the elation of receiving a “yes” to the pain of the 10th successive “no”. Whether you're a young performer or a supportive parent, understanding how to navigate rejection is essential for growth in this competitive industry.
Understanding Rejection
Rejection isn't simply a reflection of talent. Casting directors, choreographers and directors have specific visions and requirements which unfortunately, might not align with your unique qualities at that moment. If I hear the phrase “they really liked you but you just didn’t fit the part” many more times, I may just have to follow the advice of my sixth form careers tutor and “get a real job”. You have to react to rejection the same way you’d react if a restaurant didn’t have the food you wanted, “Never mind, I’ll just order something else”.
As a working performer, about to start my 10th professional contract, you’d think I would have faced little rejection over the last 6 years. However, the more successful you are in the Arts, the more rejection you have to navigate… sounds counter intuitive right? But, it’s the unfortunate truth. The longer you push on and strive for bigger things, the higher chance you’ll have of being told “no”.
Mental Resilience
This is something rarely spoken about but, it is tremendously important. There’s a huge focus on mental health right now which, is fantastic. It needs to be talked about and we need to continue down this path, implementing changes to improve the mental health of performers. However, the significance of mental resilience cannot be understated. You HAVE to be able to navigate through the murky waters of rejection in order to reach your dreams. Below are my top 3 tips for both young, aspiring performers and the supportive parents/guardians behind them.
Tips for Young Performers
1. Learn & Grow
You never stop learning as a performer. I am continually making changes and improving my craft (especially in auditions). If you get a “no” ask for feedback and use it constructively. Ask for notes if available and work on areas that need improvement. From there, attend workshops and classes to continually hone your craft.
2. Persistence is Key
Every “no” brings you closer to a “yes”. You have to take the negativity with a pinch of salt and brush it off. Then, let every little sliver of positivity fuel your confidence ten fold.
3. Use Your Support System
Surround yourself with supportive friends, family, and mentors who understand your passion and can offer encouragement. Share your experiences and feelings with others; sometimes, just talking about it can make a big difference.
Tips for Parents
1. Help Manage Expectations
Instil within them that rejection is part of the process and doesn't define their worth or talent and please emphasise the importance of perseverance and maintaining a positive attitude. Foster a mindset that views challenges as opportunities to grow. Managing expectations doesn’t have to mean “be negative”, it’s a thin tightrope between keeping their feet on the ground whilst also raising their confidence.
2. Provide Unconditional Support
I’m sure you already are doing this but, you have to be a constant source of encouragement and understanding. Celebrate effort and dedication, not just achievements.
3. Create a Balanced Lifestyle
This is NOT telling them to “Have a plan B”. This is ensuring they maintain a balance between their passion for performing and the other important aspects of their life, such as school, hobbies, and social activities. Encourage them to develop interests outside of theatre and dance to build a well-rounded character.
Building Resilience Together
Rejection can be a powerful teacher if approached with the right mindset and two minds are better than one. By learning to cope with and overcome rejection together, young performers and parents can develop resilience, confidence, and a deeper love for their craft.
The most important thing is, remember why you do this. You can never lose that.
Bonus Tip: A tutor at college once gave me an audition tip which I still use to this day. After some bad news, go and get a coffee (or some sort of treat) and take the time to reflect on the news. Wallow in self pity if you need it. But once the coffee cup (or plate) is empty, move on.